


How Lucky I Am to Have You

by xo_marauders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, HIV, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sickness, Sirius Is A Good Boyfriend, but also fluff, hospital visits, remus has HIV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:13:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/pseuds/xo_marauders
Summary: Remus has HIV and Sirius is there to help him through it.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	How Lucky I Am to Have You

**Author's Note:**

> a request that I had on tumblr that I decided to share here.   
> I tried to keep this pretty light but since it is a heavy topic…  
> tw: I would like to make it known that I do not have extensive knowledge about HIV and/or AIDS so sorry if anything is depicted inaccurately but I tried to do the best research I could so I know a little bit to write this fic but I am not an expert by any means. AIDS/HIV is a very serious disease and should be treated as such. this fic will have mentions of sickness, hospital visits and implied depression. take care of yourselves pls

Remus was tired. 

He hadn’t slept very well last night because of the fever that had kept him up, shaking limbs making it impossible for him to get comfortable and the sheets feeling too scratchy on his burning skin. Sirius had been helpful, at least as helpful as he could be, making sure his boyfriend was staying hydrated and taking his medication. But Remus was still tired. 

Being HIV positive had come as a shock to Remus who had only ever had one other sexual partner before he had met Sirius. He had been cautious, but his ex had lied to him about being clean, and Remus was young and naïve so now he was paying the price. The only silver lining was that he had caught it early enough to at least get the medication to slow the progression of the disease. But, even though it didn’t happen often, Remus still got anxious when he acquired any sort of illness out of fear of it finally being the one that proves to be too much for his weakened immune system.

He knew it was tedious to worry about such things. Sirius would often comfort him during these times, whispering into his ear about how nothing bad or tragic was going to happen to them anytime soon, that Sirius wouldn’t allow it. He would kiss every square inch of Remus’ body, just to remind him how a alive he was and Remus was so grateful to be able to find someone like Sirius. Someone who genuinely cared about him and did not shy away from him because of his disease. 

That had been the hardest part after being diagnosed; the rejection of others. People he considered to be his closest friends had shunned him away, not wanting to be near him in fear of his affliction. Part of him was angry at them, for abandoning him without so much as a goodbye. The other part of him just sort of checked out, resigning to his fate and isolating himself as best he could. 

He had met Sirius on accident. 

Lily Evans, the only friend who had stuck by Remus through everything, had forced him to go out with her, just to get some fresh air and human interaction. They went to a small coffee shop that was having some sort of karaoke night and Sirius had gotten up on stage, along with another boy, whose hair was as wild as his dance moves, and sang a rather entertaining rendition of “ _Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy_ ” by Queen. 

After the performance, the two boys introduced themselves to Remus and Lily as Sirius and James. The four of them somehow became a tight-knit group, meeting up at the coffee shop for drinks each weekend and to watch James and Sirius slaughter the stage on karaoke nights. And then one day James and Lily ditched the two boys to snog in the bathroom, leaving Remus and Sirius to spend much more time together.

Remus never mentioned his illness, coming up with excuses as to why he couldn’t go out sometimes because he was sick, until Sirius eventually called him out on it. 

“C’mon, Remus. Come out with me. Let me take you dancing! Let me show you off!” Sirius had said over the phone. He had become more and more flirty with Remus the more they spent time together and Remus had actually felt himself falling for the dark haired man. But he couldn’t let anything happen. Once Sirius knew about his disease, he would drop him, just like all his friends did, just like all potential dates did when they found out. 

“I can’t Sirius…” Remus had groaned, his muscles aching from lying in bed all day. “I…I’m sick.” 

“Well, then I will come over and make you some soup. I happen to be an amazing cook.” 

“Sirius,” Remus sighed, closing his eyes and focusing on the sound of Sirius’s breathing coming from the other line of the phone, relishing in it for just a moment before the inevitable click he would hear after confessing his secret, letting him know Sirius had hung up. “Not that kind of sick. I have HIV.” 

Sirius was quiet, uncharacteristically so, and Remus held his breath. This was it; he would never hear Sirius’s voice again, never hear the posh accent that slipped through his voice every now and then. Never hear the loud laugh produced after hearing a terrible joke. Never again. 

“Well then…what’s your favorite soup?”

And Remus had been surprised because Sirius didn’t leave, never planned to and after many occasions of Sirius bringing him soup and relentlessly asking to be more than friends, Remus finally gave in, deciding he’d take anything good he could get in this life while he still could.

Now, as he lied in bed, listening to the sound of Sirius singing in the shower of their shared flat, he smiled, still astonished that Sirius hadn’t left. That he had stuck around through all the hospital visits and sicknesses Remus had become more susceptible to without any complaint.

“What’re you smiling about, Moons?” Sirius hummed as he walked from their bathroom and into their bedroom in nothing but a towel hanging loosely from his hips.

“Just you.” Remus rasped, cringing slightly at the sound of his voice. It had been a week and a half since he caught this cold and was beginning to wonder if it was reaching hospital visit levels.

Sirius smiled as he threw on some sweats before crawling into bed beside Remus and placing his hand across his forehead. “You still have a slight fever…but I think it’s getting better.” Sirius mused, a small frown on his face. He reached toward the nightstand, grabbing hold of a water bottle as well as a thermometer before turning back to Remus. “Drink this after I take your temp.” 

Remus did as he was told, keeping his gaze on Sirius all the while as he played nurse. The serious look on his face as he read the thermometer made Remus smirk. Sirius caught him staring and the edge of his lips turned up.

“What?”

“Thank you. For taking care of me.”

Sirius’s face softened and he leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Remus’s lips. “Always, love.”

Remus just shook his head, “No. No, seriously. It’s…it’s more than what I deserve.”

It was the wrong thing to say, apparently, because Sirius’s face fell and he scooted even closer to Remus, taking his hands in his own. Remus’s heart skipped a beat, still seemingly surprised at the genuine way Sirius loved him even after all this time.

“Moons,” Sirius spoke, the nickname sounding heavy on his tongue. “You do deserve it. And I hate that you think you don’t. I know there’s people from your past who let you down because of the HIV, but, dammit, Remus. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. I hate that they made you think that. Because I love you, Rem.”

With another skip of his heart, Remus leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Sirius’s soft lips.

“I love you, too, Sirius.” He said, vowing to do just that for however long he could.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated   
> come chat with me on tumblr @xomarauders


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